


Rhodestead Drabbles

by ChameleonCircuit



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Date, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attack, Rhodestead - Freeform, Tags to be added, implied PTSD, individual warnings at the start of each chapter, mentions of medical procedures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 11,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit
Summary: A collection of drabbles cross-posted from my tumblr. Send requests to sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/ask





	1. Sharing a dessert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, first date
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/182437312477/from-the-prompt-list-i-really-like-this-one

Will’s more than a little drunk; this much he knows. Which means he knows he should be careful, knows he should think before he speaks, before he acts. He knows that, with Connor sitting across from him, cheeks flushed from alcohol, laughter in his eyes, he could quite easily forget himself and over-step. He knows he should leave before he can make a mistake.

But he doesn’t. And really, why should he, when he feels lighter than he has in weeks, months, even?

Instead, he orders dessert. Not so much because he’s hungry, but because he wants to drag this out for as long as possible. He wants to keep Connor’s eyes on him, wants to continue to hear Connor laughing at his terrible jokes, wants to feel Connor’s knee bump his own under the table every so often, just for a little while longer.

“Here,” he says suddenly, holding out a bit of tiramisu on the end of his spoon towards Connor. “You have to try this, it’s amazing.”

Connor’s looking at him like he’s mad, one eyebrow raised, a sort of confused little half-smile, half-frown on his face, and Will has this sinking feeling that this was one of those things he should have thought through before he acted. He can feel the heat of embarrassment crawling up his neck, and he huffs a small laugh.

“Your loss,” he says with a small shrug, aiming for nonchalant as he pulls the spoon back.

But Connor grabs him by the wrist, touch firm but gentle, and pulls the spoon, and Will’s arm with it, towards him. He shoots Will a small smile before eating the dessert, and the soft moan that slips past his lips goes straight to Will’s groin.

“You’re right,” Connor responds quietly. “That is amazing.”

Will breathes out a shaky laugh, unable to stop his heart rate rising as he tracks the movement of Connor’s tongue as it darts out to lick his lips. He swallows hard as Connor lets go of his wrist, fingers ghosting along his hand before settling back on the table.

Connor leans back in his chair, eyes sparkling as a smug little grin forms on his face.

“What do you say we get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Will rasps and clears his throat before continuing. “Yeah. Yes. Absolutely.”

It turns out, Will realises as he leaves the restaurant hand in hand with Connor, that sometimes being careful is overrated.


	2. patching up a wound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hurt/comfort, minor incident of gun violence, minor medical procedure
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/182472750992/rhodestead-patching-up-a-wound

“You’re an idiot,” Will muttered, keeping his eyes firmly on the wound in Connor’s side as he stitched it up.

Connor’s head fell back against the hospital bed with a sigh.

“So you’ve said. About five times now.”

“Yeah, well…” Will shot Connor a small sideways glance, eyes a little too wide and a little too angry, before taping gauze over the wound. “You could have died.”

He winced as Will pushed too hard, but didn’t make a sound. Because he knew that under Will’s anger is fear for what might have been if that bullet had been just a little further to the left, if it was more than a graze, and he can’t help but shudder slightly at the thought.

_He had seen it out of the corner of his eye, just a glint and a sudden movement, but it was enough for him to act, enough for him to lunge forward mid-conversation._

_It all happened so fast; lunge, bang, scream, pain. But his movements felt slowed down, too. Drawn out, like he could see every detail as it went down, right from the gun being raised to the color of the man’s shirt as he collided with his chest face-first, shoving the gun downwards._

_Then, for a moment, his vision had blacked out completely, the world fading to white noise, and he’d thought maybe this was it, this was how he died, protecting the people he cared about most in the world. But his next lungful of air had been sharp, had burned, and he realised he was still upright, Will’s arms around him, coaxing him away as guards took down the guy with the gun._

“Connor?” Will asked, and his eyes snapped open.

He took a deep, shaky breath, letting it out slowly before looking at Will properly, who was now frowning at him, eyes full of concern, all anger faded.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Connor murmured, feeling suddenly far too exposed and vulnerable. “Just…I could have died.”

The look on Will’s face then was unbearably soft, and he brushed his knuckles across Connor’s cheek before cupping the back of his head.

“But you didn’t,” he said gently before pressing a kiss to Connor’s forehead. “Now, c’mon, you’re taking up valuable bed space.”

Connor raised an eyebrow, and Will shot him a grin as he removed his gloves.

“Plus, I’ve been dying to drive your car.”

“You are not driving my car.”

Will laughed, eyes lighting up. “You can’t drive. Doctor’s orders.”

“You’re not driving my car,” Connor repeated with a little less force, smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Good luck getting home, then,” Will responded with a shit-eating grin before flinging a t-shirt in Connor’s direction.

Connor rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but laugh, fondness filling him up as Will’s grin softened to something far more genuine, far more full of love than he usually allowed at work.

“You’re a dick,” he muttered, wincing as he pulled the shirt over his head.

“Yeah,” Will grinned, leaning against the door. “But you love me.”

And God help him, he did.


	3. Back scratches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mild hurt/comfort, very minor implied mild anxiety
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/183347946387/rhodestead-bls-back-scratches

A frustrated groan slipped past Will’s lips as he delicately sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, trying desperately not to wake Connor with his movements. He’d been restless all night, legs twitching against his will, body desperate for sleep that wouldn’t seem to come.

His head throbbed as he stood, a slight pounding starting at the base of his skull and working its way over, and he shuddered, rolling his shoulders as he made his way out to the kitchen. He poured a glass of water, trying to ignore the tensing of his leg muscles. He took a sip, focussing on the feel of the cool liquid going down his throat, tried to hold onto the sensation as it hit his stomach, eyes closed. He hadn’t even realised his breathing had been a little too fast until it slowed, a sense of calm washing over him again.

He set the half-empty glass of water on the sink and made his way back to bed, crawling under the covers, keeping his distance from Connor, still not wanting to wake him.

It was no use, though. He felt his heart-rate rise before his leg even gave that tell-tale twitch, and tears of frustration sprang to his eyes as he flattened out on his back, stretching his legs out as far as he could, desperate for the tension in his body, the restlessness in his legs, to leave so he could sleep.

He shifted again, and this time Connor sighed heavily, rolling over to look at Will, eyes bleary from sleep.

“I’m sorry,” Will whispered, breath catching in his throat.

Connor frowned, scooting across the bed so he could wrap an arm around Will’s middle, hand on his back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Will muttered, pulling out of Connor’s grasp again. “Go back to sleep.”

“Hard to do with you moving every two seconds.”

Connor’s tone was half-teasing, half-exhausted, and Will felt a flash or guilt course through him. This is what he’d wanted to avoid. He knew he should have just gone and slept on the couch the moment the twitching in his muscles started, the moment his chest grew tight.

“Sorry,” Will breathed out through a sigh as he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Hey, no,” Connor said, voice a little louder, now full of concern. “I didn’t say that. Talk to me.”

Connor placed his hand on Will’s shoulder, causing him to jump before he relaxed into the touch. After a beat, Connor raked his fingers down Will’s back, eliciting a shiver that ran all the way down to his toes in the best way possible, and without even meaning to, he leaned back into the touch a little more as Connor’s fingertips trailed back up his spine.

“Lie back down,” Connor said quietly, shifting back over to give Will all the room he needed to get comfortable.

He complied, body still surprisingly loose after Connor’s unexpected touch.

“On your stomach,” Connor prompted, already settling his hand on Will’s back, and Will hummed appreciatively, causing Connor to laugh.

Once Will was comfortable, Connor started running his fingernails up and down Will’s back, changing the pressure he applied at odd intervals. Will couldn’t believe how quickly his body relaxed, legs no longer twitchy and restless, chest no longer tight, head no longer pounding. He breathed slowly and deliberately as Connor’s nails continued to rake across his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Helping?” Connor asked quietly.

Will just hummed in response, too close to sleep to form words anymore.

If he’d known that was all it would take, he would have asked for this before Connor had had a chance to fall asleep.


	4. One character playing with the other’s hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/184377924942/rhodestead-one-character-playing-with-the

Will grumbled to himself as he fumbled with his keys, sleep and frustration clouding his mind. Normally, he could leave most of that behind at the hospital, but today was different. Today his bad mood had hung over him like a cloud. He almost felt guilty for bringing that home to Connor on his day off, but what he wanted now, more than anything, was to fall into bed with the man he loved, bad mood and all.

“Hey,” Connor said with a soft smile as Will opened the door.

Will gave him a strained smile in response, dumping his keys and wallet as he unceremoniously kicked his shoes off.

“Bad day?”

Will shrugged, ignoring the concerned look Connor gave him as he headed to the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge without even thinking to offer one to Connor before heading back to the lounge room.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just tired,” Will muttered.

He placed the bottle down on the coffee table before sitting heavily on the lounge. He sat there for just a few moments, fingers drumming his knees, before he sighed, leaning into Connor’s space.

The moment he did so, Connor placed his book down in favour of threading his fingers through Will’s hair, massaging his scalp. A soft groan slipped past Will’s lips as he arched into the contact, feeling some of his frustration disappear just at that alone.

Connor laughed as Will settled with his head in his lap, eyes closed as he continued to run his fingers through his hair.

“What?” Will murmured.

“Nothing,” Connor said with another small laugh. “Just…you never let anyone else touch your hair.”

“Mmm,” Will hummed in response, feeling sleep tug at his brain already. “You’re special.”

“Oh, am I?” Connor asked, voice teasing.

“You know you are.”

Connor reached for Will’s hand, bringing it to his lips to leave a soft kiss on Will’s knuckles before resuming playing with Will’s hair.

“So are you,” he whispered.


	5. “I haven’t been okay for a long time.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic attack, indication of ptsd?, emotional hurt/comfort, angst
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/184641452097/i-havent-been-okay-for-a-long-time-with

Will took a deep breath in and held it for a moment, but it was no use. He could feel his heart rate climbing, each breath feeling just a little too shallow despite how deeply he was trying to breathe in. His skin crawled as another person walked past him, fabric brushing fabric, and a small shudder ran through his body. He took another deep breath, trying to gather his bearings, but he could feel the panic inside him growing, a dull ache forming in his chest as his head started to spin.

Fresh air. He just needed fresh air. And some space.

He beelined for the door, barely holding back from snapping at someone who bumped his shoulder on the way past, and ducked around the corner, back against the wall as he took another deep, measured breath, letting his eyes fall shut.

But that was a mistake. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the barrel of a gun, and this time he couldn’t be sure which memory he was lost in; todays, or months ago.

He’d felt so sure he was handling it fine as adrenaline coursed through his veins, but that adrenaline dropped as quickly as it had come, and now here he was, fighting off a panic attack at work.

His hand shook as he dragged his fingers through his hair, head hitting the wall behind him with a thud.

“You okay?”

Will jumped at the sound of Connor’s voice, heart leaping into his throat. He tried to respond, to tell Connor that he was fine, but all that came out was a shaky breath and a sound that could only be described as a squeak.

Connor placed his hand on Will’s shoulder gently, and he flinched, a violent shiver running down his spine.

“Hey,” Connor said gently, giving Will’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

This time, Will leaned into the contact. He couldn’t quite help himself as he leaned into Connor’s space just a little, hand coming up to cover Connor’s.

“Just breathe.”

Will shook his head, letting out a half-laugh, half-sob, before sucking in a sharp breath and holding it.

It felt like a lifetime before he had his breathing under control, focussing only on Connor’s thumb gently rubbing circles into his shoulder.

“There you go,” Connor said with a smile when Will finally looked at him. “You okay?”

Will shook his head, letting out a wry laugh. “I haven’t been okay for a long time.”

The admission came as a surprise to both of them, and for a moment they just stood there, completely frozen, neither quite knowing what to say. But as Will went to pull away from Connor’s touch, Connor’s grip tightened on his shoulder.

“If you ever need someone—“

“Thanks,” Will muttered, shrugging Connor off, stomach churning with shame.

“I mean it. Any time. Day or night.”

Will’s breath caught in his throat at the sincerity on Connor’s face, and he found himself nodding slowly, a small smile forming on his face.

“Thanks,” he said softly before turning to leave, giving Connor’s shoulder a quick pat on his way past.


	6. Will jealous of Connor's girlfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jealousy, miscommunication, angst kinda, happy ending
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185349057197/hiiiii-if-you-are-still-taking-rhodestead

Every time Will looks, it feels as though Connor’s with another woman. He knows this is an exaggeration, that it’s only been a small handful in the time Will’s known him, no more than Will himself, but still, it feels like Connor glides from woman to woman with an ease only afforded to people exactly like him; rich, attractive, and successful, none of which Will can apply to himself.

He knows it’s ridiculous, but that spark of jealousy ignites in his stomach at the sight of Robin’s hand on Connor’s arm, at the way Connor’s face lights up when he looks at her, at the ease between their interactions. The longer they talk together, laugh together, the bigger that flame grows, until he can’t take it anymore.

“Nice to see some of us just laugh for a living,” Will snaps as he walks past, heading for a patients room. “While the rest of us work for it.”

For the rest of the day, Will is snappy with Connor, not even holding back in front of patients, until eventually, Connor corners him in the break room. Will barely holds back a groan of frustration.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Connor practically shouts, closing in. “If you have an issue with me, you bring it up with me. Don’t let it interfere with my job.”

Will snorts, turning away to make himself a coffee. “Like you can talk, flirting with Robin out in the open for everyone to see.”

His cheeks tinge pink at that, but he doesn’t back down. “That’s different.”

“Is it?” Will snaps, turning around, coffee forgotten. “Because it sure as hell feels like you’re rubbing it in everyone’s faces, showing off, as per usual.”

Connor’s face twists with a mix of confusion and anger, and it’s only when he pulls back a little that Will realises how close they’re standing.

“Where is this coming from? You never seemed to have a problem before, with Ava, or—“

“This has been a long time coming,” he snaps, a fresh spark of anger igniting at the mention of Ava. “You’re always attached, always flaunting some attractive woman, always out there flirting and touching and—“

“Why does it bother you so much?”

“Why can’t it be me?” Will shouts.

It takes a moment for him to realise he’s said it out loud, but if he hadn’t been sure, the soft confusion on Connor’s face confirms it for him. Embarrassingly, he feels the sting if tears at his eyes as his face heats up, heart beating painfully against his ribcage. For a moment, he’s just frozen in place, wishing the ground would swallow him up and leave nothing behind. When that doesn’t seem likely, he moves, desperate to get out of there, away from Connor, away from the hospital, away from how much of himself he just exposed unintentionally, but Connor grabs him just in time, pulling him back, and Will feels powerless to stop him.

“What the hell does that mean?” Connor whispers, tone soft, understanding even though he’s obviously confused.

“Just drop it. Forget I said anything.”

“Will—“

“Please,” he practically begs, voice strained as a lump forms in his throat.

“Will,” Connor tries again, voice still soft. “How do you think I felt when I saw you with Nina? With Natalie?”

Will can’t help himself. He has to see Connor’s face, has to see if he’s really understanding what he’s saying.

“If I’d known I was in with a chance, I would have asked you out three years ago.”

Will lets out a wet sounding laugh, an odd warmth filling him up even as his embarrassment seems to grow.

“You’re saying I’m in with a chance?”

“You always were, Will,” Connor says with a soft laugh, pulling Will in towards him. “And for the record, Robin and I are just friends.”

“And Ava?”

“Ancient history.”

He studies Connor’s face for a moment. He wants to close that distance between them, wants to know what it feels like to kiss Connor Rhodes, but a sudden swell of nerves stops him, doubt sitting heavy in his stomach.

“I’m saying I like you, Will,” Connor says pointedly, just a touch of a waver to his voice, like maybe his nerves are getting the better of him, too.

It’s all the encouragement Will needs to close the distance between them, pulling Connor in by the front of his shirt. When their lips meet, Will feels himself relax instantly, one hand winding around Connor’s back to pull him in further, the other still gripping the front of his scrubs.

When they break apart, he feels breathless, almost dizzy, embarrassment still underlying everything else he’s feeling.

“Sorry,” Will says with a breathless laugh, ducking his head.

“What for?”

“For being an ass.”

Connor’s lips quirk up in a smirk, eyes taking on a mischievous glint. “Kinda used to it by now.”


	7. Altschmerz (Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, emotional hurt/comfort, love declaration, happy ending sort of
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185396945127/altschmerz-weariness-with-the-same-old-issues

“I love you.”

The words seemed to come so easily for Connor. They just slipped out, unashamed, so assured in what he was saying. Will wanted to say it back, he really did, because he was sure he felt the same, but instead he froze.

Watching Connor’s lazy smile slip from his face might be the most heartbreaking thing Will had ever seen, made more so by the fact that he knew he was the one to cause it.

He hated this part of him, this seed of doubt when it came to love. It wasn’t that he doubted what the other person felt for him, especially not with Connor. It was simply that he doubted he was worthy of that love, doubted that he could reciprocate appropriately. It didn’t matter how many relationships he let slip away because of his own fears and insecurities, and it didn’t matter how many times he swore to himself he wouldn’t let it get in the way of something good, it always came back to this, always left him frozen and scared.

And what he had with Connor was more than just good. What he had with Connor was everything, and the thought of losing that terrified him. But that’s what made this doubly hard - he was so sure that he couldn’t love Connor enough, was so sure he’d never be enough, that it felt like either way he lost. Either way, Connor would leave.

His stomach flipped, the threat of tears stinging his eyes, and he let out a frustrated, involuntary growl, turning away from Connor. He wanted so badly to say it back, but the words were stuck on the tip of his tongue and every attempt to force them out had his heart uncomfortably skipping a beat, had his stomach swooping with fear and self loathing.

“Should I leave?” Connor asked, breaking the long, drawn out silence since his declaration.

He sounded so sad, voice wavering like he was barely holding it together, and it was guilt, more than any kind of strength, that had Will turning to look at him, tears in his eyes despite how hard he was trying to hold them back. Because he had no right to cry, not when he was the broken one, not when he was the one ruining everything. Not when he was the one clearly incapable, and therefore undeserving, of love.

“Please don’t,” he whispered, voice catching. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Connor let out a soft, sad chuckle, reaching across to lace his fingers with Will’s.

“If you’re not ready—“

“But I should be. I am. I just- I don’t—“ Will broke off with a stuttered breath, trying to muster some kind if explanation. But he knew no explanation would be worthy, no explanation would be good enough. “You shouldn’t love me.”

“Why not?” Connor asked, tilting his head to catch Will’s gaze.

“Because I don’t know how to love you in the way you deserve to be loved.”

It came out in a defeated whisper, and he let his eyes fall shut, forcing free the tears that had been gathering, waiting to fall. It sounded pathetic, even to his own ears, but Connor deserved to know, deserved to hear the truth.

“What?” Connor asked with a laugh, giving Will’s hand a squeeze. “Do you love me?”

Will nodded, holding back another stuttered breath, not wanting to break in front of Connor.

“Look at me. Please,” Connor coaxed gently, and Will did, despite how embarrassed he felt at his display of emotion, because he couldn’t deny Connor anything, not really. “Where’s this coming from?”

Will shook his head, more of a twitch than anything definitive. He didn’t know how to explain to Connor that he’d never had an example of love, had never been shown much affection in his life. He didn’t know how to explain that he’d never had a good example of love, and he’d always managed to fuck everything up in the past.

“I’m too much like my dad,” he settled on, voice surprisingly steady. “You deserve better.”

“Will, you are better,” Connor insisted, moving in closer so he could cup Will’s face in his hands. “You’ve got such a big heart, and you dedicate so much of it to me. Every day, I feel your affection, your love. It’s why I was so sure when I told you I loved you. I was so sure you loved me back, I wasn’t even scared.”

Will didn’t know what to say to that. Doubt and fear were still swirling around inside his stomach. He was so sure Connor was seeing what he wanted to see, not what Will had to offer. But the truth was, he did love Connor, with every fibre of his being, and as Connor pulled him into a hug, pressing a kiss to the side of his head, he hoped it was enough, because he wasn’t willing to let this go. Not for anything in the world.


	8. nodus tollens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, emotional hurt/comfort
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185395227237/nodus-tollens-connor

It was Ava’s insistence that they could be together now his dad was gone that had Connor’s stomach dropping. Because despite everything, he hadn’t quite believed she could be capable of killing his father. Now, he wasn’t so sure. The sudden change in her demeanor when he turned her down has his heart beating erratically in his chest.

Still, after everything, he had no proof. He had nothing to go on. As he stood in that break room alone, he felt more uncertain than ever.

Every thought he tried to grab onto seemed to disappear as quickly as it came, and with each distorted memory he tried to delve into to find some kind if answer, he felt as though he was slipping further and further from the truth.

He couldn’t work out how it had lead to this, how he’d got here, parentless and with an absent sister, completely alone and yet surrounded by people he couldn’t quite seem to connect with anymore. He was sure, once upon a time, maybe not even that long ago, he’d had friends, people he could count on, people who made sure he was okay. But he couldn’t even think of who anymore. They had all all just become faces that seemed too far away to reach.

His head spun as he tried to catch his breath. He felt this pressing urge to leave, and yet he couldn’t quite bring himself to move, either. Because nothing made sense anymore, and if he really, truly thought about it, he was sure nothing had made sense since his mother died.

“Connor?”

The voice was familiar, sent a surge of warmth through him, but he couldn’t work out why. It wasn’t until Will’s face was in front of his, hand on his shoulder, brow furrowed in concern, that something clicked into place.

“You okay?”

Connor wanted to tell him no, he wasn’t okay. He tried to form the words, but his tongue felt thick in his mouth. He blinked, ready to try again, but it felt like the world was slipping away from him, just Will’s face and nothing else.

“Hey,” Will said quietly, gripping Connor’s shoulders with both hands now, tighter, almost too tight, fingertips digging in hard enough to be uncomfortable, bordering on painful. “Why don’t you sit down, let me check you over.”

Connor shook his head, reaching out to touch Will’s face with a shaky hand. His cheek was warm, stubble rough under Connor’s fingers, but it had a grounding effect he couldn’t have anticipated. He sucked in a sharp, shuddering breath as something clicked into place.

Will. Will was a friend. Will was someone he could rely on. He was so sure of that now, more sure of that than anything else. It felt like so long since he’d connected with Will, since they’d laughed together, shared a drink together. But Will’s concern, his compassion, was still the same. A constant in Connor’s mess of a life, even if it was just another thing in a long list of things that didn’t add up. His stomach swooped at that thought, the small seed of doubt planted.

“You’re scaring me,” Will whispered, voice shaking, and Connor pushed that doubt away.

This was real. Will’s concern was real. Nothing else mattered.

The next breath he drew sounded more like a sob, and Will’s arms came around him, drawing him into a hug.

As he gripped Will back, sobs wracking his body, having now completely lost control, he wondered if he ought to feel embarrassed, if he should feel something other than the gaping emptiness inside of him and the desperation for Will to help him make sense of it all, but he felt nothing. So he let himself cry, and he let himself be held, because he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. Not when everything else had fallen apart around him.


	9. Getting them a coffee just the way they like it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff, emotional hurt/comfort kinda but very light
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185506105657/getting-them-a-coffee-just-the-way-they-like-it

Connor took a deep breath as he stepped out of the OR, leaning back against the wall. For just a moment, he let everything else slip away, eyes closed, just breathing. They did absolutely everything they could, had given that little girl as much of a chance as she was ever going to have, but a part of him knew it was hopeless anyway. A part of him knew she was doomed from the moment she was born, long before she was wheeled into his OR, her life in his hands. He’d done his best, but it didn’t feel like enough, and he was exhausted, desperate for the warm comfort of his bed and his boyfriends arms. But he still had another five hours of his shift, more patients to see, more people to try and save.

His next breath was intended as a motivator, a way to push himself away from the wall and get on with it, but instead the smell of vanilla and coffee hit his nose unexpectedly, and his eyes shot open.

Will was standing there, soft, hesitant smile on his face, a styrofoam cup in one hand and a clear cup in the other, icy contents swishing about.

“It’s okay if you don’t want it,” Will said quietly, holding the clear cup out to him. “Just thought you could do with the pick-me-up.”

Connor took the cup with a small nod of thanks, taking an experimental sip. Even though he could smell the vanilla, was sure it was his usual order, he could remember the argument they’d had over this vividly, with Will refusing to order such a ridiculous drink, and he had to be certain.

“You got this for me?”

“Of course,” Will said with a small laugh.

“You. You actually said the words? Double iced latte with a shot of sugar free vanilla?”

Connor’s lips quirked upwards as Will’s hand went to the back of his neck, a hint of blush spreading across his cheeks.

“If you don’t want it—“

“Come here,” Connor cut him off, setting the cup aside to pull Will into a hug.

The coffee was nice, but the gesture was nicer, and in that moment all Connor really wanted was to feel Will’s arms around him. Will melted into the contact instantly, didn’t freeze up like he used to at public displays of affection, long arms winding around Connor’s back.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Connor breathed out, hugging him just a little bit tighter. “Just really needed that.”

Will laughed, rubbing Connor’s back when it seemed as though he wasn’t ready to let go. “It was nothing, just a coffee, I—“

“Not the coffee,” Connor cut him off, leaning back enough to look at him. “You.”

For a moment Will looked surprised, but then, slowly, a smile formed on his face, soft and lazy and designed only for Connor. As he leant in to press a kiss to Will’s lips, he knew he’d be able to get through the rest of the day.


	10. Calming them down when they have a bad dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional hurt/comfort, nightmares
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185509294727/prompt-calming-them-down-when-they-have-a-bad

It was a subtle trembling beside him that dragged Connor from his sleep. It took him a moment to process, to work out what the movement was that woke him, but when Will whimpered beside him, small and fragile and broken, he knew.

Gently, he rolled over so that he was facing Will properly, keeping a small distance between them. At first he hesitated, not sure what he should do, but when Will whimpered again, face scrunched up in anguish, he knew he had to wake him, had to save him from whatever was going on inside his head.

“Will?” He tested cautiously, resting his hand on his shoulder, but Will just shied away from the touch, letting out a muffled sound of protest.

Connor took a deep breath before trying again, shaking his shoulder gently.

“Don’t!” Will called out, elbow catching Connor square in the chest as he grabbed his wrist, eyes wide, chest heaving.

“It’s okay,” Connor hushed once he’d caught his breath, pushing past the pain in his sternum. “You’re okay.”

Will stared at him for a moment, eyes wide, grip firm, before he seemed to deflate, shifting away from Connor to sit up.

“Will?”

He didn’t answer, he just sat with his back to Connor, body visibly trembling, hands gripping the edge of the mattress.

“Come here,” Connor gently coaxed, reaching out to touch Will’s back, to soothe, to comfort, but Will just flinched away from the contact.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, voice rough.

“I know,” Connor said with a soft smile. “Come here anyway.”

Will shook his head, gripping the mattress even tighter, body convulsing with each stuttered breath.

“Please,” Connor whispered, sitting up so he could shift closer.

When Will didn’t respond, Connor settled behind him, wrapping his arms around Will’s middle. He was rigid in Connor’s arms for a moment before all the fight seemed to leave him, and he collapsed back against Connor with a shaky breath.

“It’s okay,” Connor whispered as Will began to cry. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

He continued that mantra, over and over, fingers running through Will’s hair as he held him close, long after he’d repositioned them, long after Will’s breaths had begun to even out, because he needed Will to know that, no matter what, he was there. Always. Forever.


	11. A kiss as encouragement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> emotional hurt/comfort, angst
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185530025242/rhodestead-18-a-kiss-as-encouragement

Will looked small in the hospital bed, which surprised Connor. He supposed Will was trying to make it that way, trying to take up as little space as possible, trying not to be seen. He could see the stress behind every smile Will gave someone. Every hello, every thanks, was laced with an anxiety that Connor was surprised no one else seemed to be able to see.

Once everyone had left, Will relaxed back against the bed, and Connor moved in closer, taking his hand gently.

Just as he was about to speak, there was a gentle knock at the door.

“No,” Will said instantly, before Connor had even had time to look.

“Sorry,” Kevin said quietly, leaning against the door frame. “We need a statement.”

“No,” Will repeated, shaking his head, shrinking in on himself again. “I’m not- no.”

“It’ll only take a moment,” Kim tried with an understanding smile, but Will just shook his head, turning to face Connor, eyes pleading.

There was a part of him that wanted to send them away, to take Will in his arms and protect him from the world. But he also knew that wasn’t possible, so instead, he took both of Will’s hands in his.

“You can do this,” he said quietly, voice raspy with the emotion he was trying to conceal.

“I don’t want to,” Will practically whined, sounding more like a child than anything, and it somehow tugged at Connor’s heart all the more.

“I know. I know you don’t. But the sooner you do, the sooner you—we—can start to put this behind us, okay?”

Connor knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. He knew Will would likely have nightmares about what happened to him in that basement for the rest of his life, things he’d only managed to tell Connor, and only in fragmented pieces. He knew Will would see that place in his dreams, would likely need therapy he was going to resist, would be different, going forward. He knew that because he felt it too, in some way. Already, he’d dreamt that Will was still gone, that they couldn’t find him. Already, he could feel the change in himself, the unwillingness to let Will out of his sight, the desperate need to protect.

But he also knew the healing started here, with finding the guy who took Will and putting him behind bars.

He leant in, pressing a soft kiss to Will’s lips, squeezing his hands tight as he tried to pour every ounce of strength he had into Will. It was a kiss of encouragement, a kiss to say I’ll never leave, a kiss to say I’m by your side, we’re in this together, no matter what, a kiss to say you can do this, I believe in you, you’re stronger than you think.

When they broke apart, Will nodded, blinking back tears.

“Okay,” he whispered croakily, clearing his throat as he turned to look at Kevin and Kim. “Okay, what do you need to know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14 is a sequel to this but neither have to be read as such


	12. "Sleep is for the weak"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185619729037/sleep-is-for-the-weak-rhodestead

Will could feel his eyes drifting shut as he tried to take in the patient information on the screen in front of him. The words were swimming in front of his face, blurring together until all he could see was a mosaic of black and white light. Just as everything went blessedly quiet and dark, a hand settled on his back, jolting him awake, stomach flipping, heart hammering in his chest. It took his brain a moment to catch up and relax into Connor’s touch, earning a chuckle from behind him.

“Go have a nap, I’ll cover this patient for you.”

Will shook his head, trying to return his focus to the computer screen, but Connor’s hand travelled up the back of his neck and into his hair, and Will couldn’t help but lean into the touch, eyes drifting closed again.

“You’ve been going for over 28 hours. You need sleep,” Connor said gently, dragging his fingertips across Will’s scalp.

“Sleep is for the weak,” Will muttered in response, too focussed on the feel of Connor’s hand in his hair to really think about what he was saying.

Connor laughed, stopping the motion to pat Will on the shoulder. He practically whined at the loss of contact, struggling to blink his eyes open against the harsh light.

“Come on,” Connor encouraged, hooking his arm around Will’s body to haul him from the chair. “Sleep.”

“But my patient—“

“Is covered,” Connor said gently, pressing a kiss to the side of Will’s head. “And would probably rather you didn’t accidentally poke their eye out with a needle because you’re so tired you can’t see straight.”

“I wouldn’t,” Will muttered with a pout, but the allure of sleep was too great, his body having already given into the idea even, sagging his full weight against Connor.

“I know,” Connor hushed, awkwardly leading him to the bunks. “I know.”


	13. “I don’t like the way they look at you.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> light angst maybe? emotional hurt/comfort but ultimately fluff
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/185621002167/i-dont-like-the-way-they-look-at-you

Will winced as Connor began cleaning the cut on his knuckles, barely resisting the urge to pull away. Connor gave him a stern look but didn’t say anything, no words of comfort or placation, not that Will thought he deserved them anyway. It just solidified the idea in his mind that Connor was mad at him.

“You won’t need stitches,” Connor said, voice tight, not meeting his eyes. “I doubt anything’s broken, but you should still have it x-rayed just in case.”

“I’m fine,” Will said quietly, voice small, meek, bordering on apologetic, because even though he didn’t feel he was in the wrong, he knew he’d upset Connor.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Connor said with a sigh, pressing the cold compress to his knuckles which were already starting to swell.

“More of an idiot than I’ve already been?” Will offered with a cautious smile, as close to an acknowledgement of wrongdoing as he was willing to go at that moment.

Connor sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leaned back, leaving Will to hold the compress in place himself. For a moment, Will thought he was just going to leave, stand up and walk out without another word, but instead Connor finally made eye contact, expression stern, mouth pulled into a thin line.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Connor offered quietly.

Will shrugged in response, glancing downwards. “I know you’re angry, so just…be angry, get it over with.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“I know,” Will said with a sigh. “But I’d rather you shout at me than give me the silent treatment.”

“I’m not—“ Connor cut himself off before he could raise his voice, looking up at the ceiling as though praying for strength before looking at Will again. “You’re better than that. You’re better than them, yet you sunk below them.”

Will snorted. “Coming from the man who punched his own dad?”

“That was different.”

“Was it?” Will questioned, voice rising with the flare of anger that ignited in his chest, because it somehow always felt like it came down to everyone else being better, everyone else being right, even when they’ve made the same mistakes he had made. “Because I distinctly remember you doing it to defend your girlfriend’s honour.”

“Oh, that’s what you were doing, were you? Defending my honour?” Connor jeered, and Will felt a flash of hurt that only further ignited his anger.

“Yes, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Will shouted, tossing the compress aside.

“Keep that on.”

“You’re a thousand times better than any one of those entitled pieces of shit,” Will continued, ignoring Connor’s advice, voice taking on a slightly hysterical edge as he stood up.

“I am one if those entitled pieces of shit, as you were so keen on reminding me when we first met,” Connor said with a wry smile.

“No,” Will insisted with a shake of his head. “You care about people. You care about people with less than you have. You don’t just make donations to make yourself look good like they do. You—“

“So you went in with your fists?” Connor asked, tone more gentle than it had been as he stood up to place his hands on Will’s shoulders.

Will felt a blush creep up his neck, dusting his cheeks. He ducked his head, the fight leaving him just as fast as it had come.

“I don’t like the way they look at you,” Will muttered. “At us. They look down on you because you’re with me, and—“

“They’ve looked down on me my whole life,” Connor whispered, cupping Will’s face in his hands. “Is that what this was really about? You’re worried you affect my image?”

Will shrugged in response, not wanting to admit to something so banal and stupid.

“Look at me,” Connor whispered, thumb brushing across Will’s cheek.

He lifted his head, slowly meeting Connor’s gaze, stomach swooping at the love and affection so clearly written on his face.

“I love you, Will Halstead. I’ve never fit in with them. It has nothing to do with you. Being with you is the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m proud to be by your side, proud to be able to call you mine.”

Will sniffed, shame filling him up as fast as tears clouded his vision. He didn’t trust his voice enough to respond, so he just nodded, moving to duck his head again, to hide his face, but instead Connor captured his lips with his own, soft and sweet and tender, arms coming around Will’s body, and Will melted into the touch instantly, warmth flooding him, chasing away everything else.

“I love you too,” he whispered once they broke apart, resting his forehead against Connor’s. “And I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven,” Connor said with a smile, taking Will’s uninjured hand in his own, giving it a small squeeze. “Now let’s get the hell out of here.”


	14. “Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> emotional hurt/comfort, past trauma, light angst
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186248611062/dont-be-scared-im-right-here-rhodestead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sequel to chapter 11, but doesn't have to be read as such

Will’s heart was thumping so hard against his ribs he was sure everyone within a 12 mile radius would have been able to hear it. It hurt. It felt like his ribs might actually crack open from the force, even though, as a doctor, he knew that wasn’t possible at all.

What he did know was that if he didn’t calm down soon, even just a little, he would likely pass out. He tried to take another deep, measured breath, but it hitched half-way, stomach threatening to jump up his throat, and he swallowed hard.

Just as he leaned forward, hugging his arms around his legs, head between his knees, the door to the room he’d been left in swung open, a gush of air whooshing past him before it was delicately shut.

His skin crawled at the thought of someone seeing him like this, but then the scent of Connor’s cologne hit him, and he felt himself relax just a little bit for the first time since he’d left the house.

“Breathe,” Connor coaxed softly, hand settling between his shoulder blades. “You’re okay. I’m sorry I’m late.”

Will shook his head as he looked up again, vision swimming before his eyes settled on Connor. “I can’t do this,” he croaked out.

He swiped angrily at the tears that sprung to his eyes, breath stuttering again as he tried to take in another deep breath. He hated this. He hated that something so small, so trivial in the grand scheme of things, had broken him so much. He hated that, after everything he’d managed to bounce back from, this one man had broken him irreparably. It didn’t matter how many times Connor told him that this was a natural response to trauma, that what he went through *was* traumatic, that he would get through this just like he’d gotten through everything else, he still couldn’t quite manage to believe it.

“You can,” Connor said.

His voice was always soft these days when talking to Will, and a part of him missed their heated arguments and teasing and jabs that sometimes hit a little too close to home. He hated being treated as though he were fragile, wrapped in cotton wool. More than that, he hated that it was necessary. He hated that raised voices sent a shock of panic through him so severe he felt nauseated. He hated that a slammed door made him jump a mile, skin crawling for hours afterwards. He hated all the little things he couldn’t control, and he hated the way they changed his relationship with Connor.

“I don’t want to look at him,” Will admitted in a whisper, voice shaking.

“I know,” Connor said with a sigh, wrapping his arm around Will’s shoulders to pull him close. “But he can’t see you. He can’t hurt you. Once you pick him, he’s going away for a very long time.”

“Could get bail.”

“He won’t,” Connor insisted. “Stone won’t let that happen.”

Will managed a smile at that, but it was short lived. Just the light rap at the door before Jay entered had him jumping out of his skin, heart racing again as though it had never stopped.

“They’re ready,” Jay said quietly, face grim. “I can’t go in there with you ‘cause we don’t want his lawyer to have any excuse to have your ID thrown out, but I’ll walk you to the door.”

Will knew he meant well, but just the mention of none of this going to plan had him wanting to run the other way.

Connor took his hand as they stood, and Will was grateful, not for the first time, that Connor somehow always knew exactly what he needed. He squeezed, possibly a little too tight, but enough to help him feel grounded, and Connor squeezed back in response, offering an encouraging smile.

It felt like the longest walk ever, even though it was just down the hall, and with each step, his legs threatened to give out beneath him. He took a deep, albeit shaky breath as they came to a stop, swallowing hard against the nausea crawling up his throat.

“Don’t be scared,” Connor whispered, giving his hand another squeeze. “I’m right here.”

Will let his eyes fall shut for a moment, letting Connor’s words wash over him before he opened them again, giving Jay a small nod. His stomach swooped as the door opened, but he knew he couldn’t go back now. He had to see this through, right to the end, even if it killed him.


	15. "i'm worried about you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, emotional hurt/comfort, character death (but neither of the boys)
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186639461342/im-worried-about-you-rhodestead

Will could feel Connor’s eyes on him as his hands visibly shook. He tried to take a deep breath, tried to stop the trembling that seemed to have started throughout his entire body, but the breath caught in his throat, chest constricting, and that precarious control he’d barely been holding onto slipped.

He knew it was unprofessional as he dropped the gauze without a word before leaving as fast as he could, but he couldn’t quite manage to care as stars danced in front of his eyes, chest growing tighter, heart threatening to burst from his ribs. His clothes felt too tight, entire body too hot, and he fumbled with his lab coat, shrugging out of it only to discard it on his way to the door.

He expected the first breath of fresh air to help ease the pain in his chest and bring everything back to focus, but it only served to add to that ache. The next breath came too fast and the doctor side of his brain told him to calm down, but he couldn’t quite manage it, and his head spun as he tried to suck in breath after breath that didn’t seem to help.

The sound of a voice behind him made him jump, and what were attempts at calm breathing turned into outright panting, not enough air, not enough thought, as panic took over.

“Hey,” Connor said gently, face popping up in front of Will’s seemingly out of nowhere. “Breathe. You’re okay. I’m here.”

Connor’s forehead was creased, blue eyes large with concern, and it made Will’s skin crawl, but he latched into it anyway, focussed on those eyes he loved so much, and tried again to take a deep breath.

“That’s it,” Connor coaxed, holding out a hand to guide him to a nearby bench without actually touching him. “Just keep doing that.”

Connor kept talking him through breathing, but it wasn’t working, not really, and though he would never say it out loud, it felt oddly like he was dying, like this was it, this was the end, and a small sob bubbled up in his chest.

“Tell me about Kol,” Connor said out of the blue.

“W-what?”

“Tell me about what you two got up to last night.”

Will blinked, confused, but did as he was told, even as he struggled to get the words out coherently. The sound of Connor’s laughter washed over him, and he focussed on the smile lighting up Connor’s face as he talked, and the more he talked, the easier it became, until the tightness in his chest eased a little and he felt like he could breathe again.

“There you go,” Connor said gently, finally, finally placing a hand on Will’s knee tentatively.

Will took a few deep, calming breaths, relieved when the dizziness subsided and he could think a little clearer, but he was still trembling all over.

They sat there in silence for a bit, Connor’s thumb rubbing gentle circles over his knee while Will continued to take deep, calming, measured breaths.

“What happened?” Connor asked quietly after a while.

Will shrugged in response, picking at his nail idly. “Dunno.”

Connor frowned, ducking his head to force eye contact. “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be,” Will bit out, shiver running down his spine.

“Will,” Connor said through a sigh, removing his hand from Will’s knee, “you’re not coping.”

Will wanted to tell him he was wrong, argue the matter, but the truth of the words stung and he felt a lump forming in his throat, tears blurring his vision. He swallowed hard as he bowed his head.

“Would you be coping?” He whispered, voice threatening to crack.

“No,” Connor said simply, then, after a pause, asked, “Can I touch you properly now?”

Will huffed out a wet laugh, nodding his head, and Connor’s arm came around his shoulders instantly, pulling him in until his head was rested on Connor’s shoulder.

“It’s not your fault,” Connor whispered into Will’s hair as a small sob slipped past Will’s lips.

“She died because of- of me and my choices. How is that not my fault?”

Connor sighed, and Will’s stomach churned at the thought that maybe he would stop trying to convince him, that maybe Connor believed it was his fault, too. After all, Natalie had been Connor’s friend as well, just without the same complicated history.

“I don’t know how many different ways I can tell you it’s his fault, not yours,” Connor said quietly, voice wavering just a little. “You could never have anticipated what happened, and I’ll keep reminding you of that for as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Will whispered.

He knew he’d have to eventually get up off this bench and walk back into that hospital, apologise to the patient he walked out on, and to Monique for leaving her to sort his mess, but Connor wasn’t rushing him, Connor never rushed him, and despite every other little painful thing he was feeling, he felt blessed to have that.


	16. “shh, shh. you were having a nightmare.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light angst, emotional hurt/comfort, minor au
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186732761742/shh-shh-you-were-having-a-nightmare

Will woke with a scream clawing up his throat, chest aching as he tried to catch his breath. He instinctively pulled away from the hand that was on him, skin crawling, and he’d be embarrassed about the whimper that slipped past his lips, about the panting of his ragged breaths, except he didn’t know where he was or who was touching him and he just knew he had to get away.

“Shh, shhh,” the person beside him soothed, shifting back away from him. Will blinked, trying to force his eyes to focus in the dark. “You were having a nightmare.”

Connor. He would know Connor’s voice anywhere, a beacon of light to guide him through the dark, and he let out a shaky breath, an almost sob, as he relaxed back into the bed.

“You’re okay,” Connor soothed, moving back in again to settle against Will’s side.

Will’s breaths were still coming too hard and too fast, sweat coating his skin, but he couldn’t quite manage to calm himself down.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Connor asked softly, hand moving to Will’s hair.

He took in a deep, slow breath, focussing on the feel of Connor’s fingers threading through his hair. His out breath shook, but the next breath came easier, and the next, until he was breathing normally again.

“Will?” Connor prompted, and Will sighed in response.

“I dunno. I don’t…I just remember someone screaming, that’s all.”

Connor didn’t remind him that it was him who screamed, and for that he was grateful. He just cuddled into Will instead, settling a hand over his chest.

“You’re safe here,” Connor whispered, curling around him protectively. “No one can get you here.”

Will knew that was true. He knew they were halfway across the world from anyone who wanted to hurt him and likely would be for the rest of their lives. He knew only Jay and Ingrid knew where they were, too. But that knowledge didn’t stop the nightmares, didn’t stop him needing to sleep with a light on, didn’t stop him constantly looking over his shoulder every time he left the house.

“I’m sorry,” Will whispered, turning his head towards Connor.

“What for?”

“For dragging you away from your life like that.”

His voice shook as a lump formed in his throat, tears stinging in his eyes. It was something he’d felt this entire time, something he’d agonised over for months but had never voiced for fear of what Connor might say in response.

“What life?” Connor asked with a sad little huff of laughter. “You’re all I have. You’re all I had after…after everything. I would follow you to the ends of the Earth.”

“You kinda have,” Will said with a wet laugh, rolling onto his side to wrap an arm around Connor’s waist.

“And I’ll follow you anywhere you go for as long as you’ll let me,” Connor whispered before pressing a chaste kiss to Will’s lips. “I love you.”

Will nodded, pulling Connor in just a little bit more. “I love you too.”

He let his eyes fall shut as Connor’s fingers trailed delicate patterns across his skin, soothing all the fear and the worry away. He knew it would all be back tomorrow to try and suffocate him, but for now, with Connor’s arms around him, his words chasing the darkness away, the reprieve was nice.


	17. "i brought you a blanket."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sickfic, fluff
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186737800317/i-brought-you-a-blanket-rhodestead

Will was relieved when the knock sounded on his door. Even though it meant he had to drag himself up off the lounge and push through the wave of dizziness that washed over him when he stood, it also meant Connor was on the other side. With food. And hopefully ice cream, if he had any sense.

“Hey,” Connor breathed out with a soft smile when Will answered the door.

“Please tell me you brought ice cream,” Will practically begged, his sore, scratchy throat only serving to make him sound more pathetic than he would have from the begging alone.

“Yes,” Connor said with a laugh as he placed his bags down on the counter. “Raspberry swirl. Your favourite.”

Will beamed at him, reaching for the bag he knew contained the ice cream, but Connor swatted his hand away.

“Go sit down. I’m making you soup and you’re eating the soup first.”

“Yes, mum,” Will grumbled, but he obeyed, making his way back to the lounge to leave Connor to his cooking.

After a few moments of rustling, Connor reemerged with a shy smile on his face, slowly walking towards Will. He paused at the edge of the lounge, quite clearly holding something behind his back as he rapped his knuckles on the arm rest gently.

“I brought you a blanket,” he said softly, not quite meeting Will’s eyes.

“You brought me a blanket?” Will repeated, tone teasing.

“It…” Connor trailed off with a sigh as he pulled the blanket out from behind his back. “It was my mothers, and it, ah…it always makes me feel better.”

A warmth spread through Will’s chest as Connor delicately unfolded the blanket and placed it over him, decidedly not making eye contact.

“I know it’s just a blanket, but—“

“Thank you,” Will said softly, catching Connor by the wrist as he moved to walk away. “Really.”


	18. “I’m trying really hard not to blame you for this.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hurt/comfort, fluff
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186742157517/im-trying-really-hard-not-to-blame-you-for

Will groaned as the paramedics arrived, stretcher at the ready, and Connor couldn’t help but laugh. He felt bad, really, he did, but the image of Will sprawled out on the ice was burned into his memory and he doubted it would ever fail to make him laugh.

“Shut up,” Will muttered, shooting him a glare.

He stood back as the paramedics checked Will over before helping him up onto the stretcher.

“It’s not broken,” Will muttered, but he didn’t resist.

Connor followed them into the ambulance, trying desperately not to laugh again as he sat down beside Will.

“Remind me again why you’re here?” Will bit out.

“Because I love you,” he said softly, taking Will’s hand. “And because I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Will rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest, turning his face away, and Connor lost control completely, laughter slipping out before he could hold it back.

“Sorry,” Connor wheezed out. “But the more pissed off you are, the funnier it gets.”

“You know,” Will started, voice raised in a way that had the paramedic’s eyebrows shooting up, “I’m trying really hard not to blame you for this.”

“It’s not my fault you didn’t tell me you couldn’t ice skate,” Connor countered, even though he did feel bad, really. Ice skating was his idea, after all. “What kid from Chicago doesn’t learn how to skate?”

“The kind that couldn’t afford to,” Will hissed, pulling his hand away, and Connor felt himself sober up instantly because he knew money was a sore spot for Will.

“Will…” Connor let out a sigh, trying to find the right words, but there never were any. “I’m sorry.”

“So you should be,” Will muttered, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips, letting Connor know he was at least partially forgiven.

“I could teach you, you know.”

“Don’t push it,” Will warned, but he was smiling in earnest, and Connor felt his face light up at the sight, pure warmth flooding him.

“Okay,” Connor said softly, taking Will’s hand back in his.


	19. a kiss where it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff, hurt/comfort, implications of smut but no actual smut
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186742765362/rhodestead-with-4a-kiss-where-it-hurts-idk

“Fuck,” Will cried out, the single word seeming to take all the breath he had left in his lungs as pain radiated through his arm from his elbow.

He felt tears spring to his eyes and he squeezed them shut as he sucked in a sharp breath, waiting for the pain to subside.

“Will?” Connor asked softly, hand settling on his shoulder. “You okay?”

Will let out a strangled sound intended to be an affirmative answer as he nodded, biting his lip.

“That was convincing,” Connor deadpanned, though when Will opened his eyes there was a glint in Connor’s eye.

“Funny bone,” he wheezed out as the pain finally eased to a dull throb.

Connor pouted, hands settling on Will’s waist, pulling him in just a little. “You want me to kiss it better?”

Will rolled his eyes, prompting a laugh from Connor, but he held his arm up anyway, which only made Connor laugh harder.

“You offered,” Will said with a shrug, grin tugging at his lips.

Connor carefully eased Will’s shirt over his elbow, tramping down a grin in order to take the move seriously. He slowly lifted Will’s arm, suppressing a laugh as Will winced, and pressed his lips delicately to Will’s elbow.

“Better?” He asked softly, remaining close after letting Will’s arm fall to his side.

“Much,” Will said with a laugh, pulling Connor flush against him.

Will captured his lips in a hungry kiss, swallowing his laughter as he threaded his fingers into the back of Connor’s hair.

“I thought you were making breakfast,” Connor said, sounding embarrassingly breathless even to his own ears.

“I’m injured,” Will said with a grin, face so close Connor could count his freckles if he wanted to.

“Then shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I can think of better ways to heal.”

Without warning, Will lifted Connor up, and his legs instinctively wrapped around Will’s waist, groan slipping past his lips as Will sucked gently at his neck.

“Doctor’s orders?” Will asked, pulling back enough to look at Connor’s face.

“Definitely.”


	20. Dizzy/Stumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hurt/comfort, fluff  
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/186952027357/dizzy-or-numb-or-stumble-rhodestead-please

Will can hear Connor talking to him, but he can’t quite make out the words. He blinks, trying to focus, but that just makes his vision swim. He shakes his head instinctively, trying to shake away the fuzziness, and for a second everything goes black as a wave of dizziness overtakes him, and he feels like he’s falling, plunging into darkness, long after his body hits something warm and solid.

There’s a sense of panic, of urgency surrounding him, but he’s suddenly tired, so, so tired, and the darkness is so nice, so comforting, that he gives into it completely, body relaxing as he tumbles through the abyss.

It’s a slow, steady beeping that drags Will from the depths of sleep, and he groans, reaching around to stop whatever the noise is, but warm hands catch his, halting his movements.

He squints against the light, eyes slowly focussing on Connor, who’s looking at him with an odd mix of concern, fondness, and frustration. He can’t, for the life of him, work out why, and trying to has his head pounding.

“Turn the light off,” he croaks out, and Connor lets go of his hands to oblige before returning to his bedside.

It’s then that he realises he’s in a hospital bed, and he huffs, covering his face with his hand as embarrassment floods him with the knowledge of why he’s here.

“You’re an idiot,” Connor says sternly.

“I know,” Will mutters, letting his hand fall to his side with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

He tentatively reaches out for Connor’s hand, relieved when Connor links their fingers.

“It wasn’t intentional,” Will defends.

“I know,” Connor says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know, just…”

“I know. I need to look after myself better.”

Connor pulls Will’s hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “Listen to your body.”

“I was busy,” Will mutters, but he knows it’s a poor excuse for not eating in over 24 hours. “Can I go back to work now?”

Connor gives him a disbelieving look. “You eat a sandwich and drink some juice and then I’m taking you home.”

“No, Connor, I’m fine, I—“

“Goodwin’s orders,” Connor cuts him off firmly. “And I’m inclined to agree.”

Will sighs, sinking further into the bed. “Fine,” he huffs.

“You scared me,” Connor says, glancing down.

“I just forgot to eat.”

“That, in itself, scares me.”

Will frowns, giving Connor’s hand a squeeze. “You know how it is.”

He can tell from the look on Connor’s face that he doesn’t get it, not really, but he doesn’t say anything further, and Will can’t tell if that’s better or worse.

“Eat,” Connor says quietly as a nurse comes in with his food. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

“I love you,” Will calls after him. He’s not sure why it felt necessary to say that right then, but he’s grateful when Connor turns back to smile at him, proof he wasn’t too angry.

“I love you too.”


	21. "that was a brave thing you did today."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> light angst, emotional hurt/comfort
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/187049308212/that-was-a-brave-thing-you-did-today

Will took a deep, measured breath as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at his own reflection in the mirror. Instead, he stared at the basin, knuckles white as he gripped the edge of the sink, trying desperately to break through the anxiety, the outright fear, that was coursing through his veins.

Like this, struggling to keep it together in his own bathroom, he honestly couldn’t understand how he’d made it through the rest of his shift. It was as though he could ignore the way his skin crawled, could push past the way he jumped at every sudden movement, until the momentum stopped and then he was alone, allowed to breathe, to pause, to think, and everything he’d been teetering on the edge of for hours swallowed him whole.

Only it hadn’t swallowed him whole. Not completely. He was still breathing, still alive, still standing, and even though he couldn’t bring himself to look in the mirror, he knew it meant something that he wasn’t having a full meltdown.

“You okay?”

Will jumped at the sound of Connor’s voice, heart lodging in his throat. For a moment, he’d forgot he shared this apartment with someone else. For a moment, it had been just him, the sink, and his past, and nothing else existed.

“Yeah,” Will managed, a breath more than a word.

“Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Will laughed shakily, turning his head to look at Connor standing in the doorway. “I think a gentle breeze could have startled me.”

Connor huffed, hesitant smile lighting up his face as he moved towards Will. Slowly, far too slowly, when suddenly all Will wanted to do was be held, so he closed the distance, crashing against Connor with more force than he’d meant to.

“It’s okay,” Connor whispered, holding Will firm against his chest, cradling his head.

The angle was awkward given their height difference, but Will didn’t care. He just breathed Connor in, soaked up his warmth.

“That was a brave thing you did today,” Connor said quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of Will’s forehead.

“Didn’t feel brave,” he muttered, voice muffled by Connor’s shirt. “Felt like taking a million steps backwards.”

“That’s the first time you talked about what happened to someone who isn’t me or your therapist.”

Will laughed wetly, pulling his head up to look at Connor.

“I’m serious,” Connor insisted. “You could have kept all that quiet, but you didn’t. You let that boy know he wasn’t alone, that he could be okay again despite nearly dying.”

“It wasn’t even remotely the same,” Will said through a sigh, adverting his eyes. “I just had a gun to my head, he…”

Connor’s hand came up to cup Will’s cheek as he trailed off, thumb brushing across his cheekbone lightly. “It was enough. More than enough. I’m proud of you.”

Not quite knowing what to say to that, Will opted to kiss Connor instead, in part to shut him up, but also to show him how grateful he was. Will still felt like he had a long way to go, but Connor was a big part of working through that, and every little moment like this counted.


End file.
